I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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