who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
