It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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