Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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