I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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