Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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