I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
