I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
