i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
