ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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