filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
