I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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