I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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