What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
