It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
