P.S. I can't hear my feet
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
