I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
