Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
