drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize