Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
