We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
