there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
