Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize