Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
