he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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