Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
