Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
