im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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