why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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