He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
