how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
