Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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