Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
