Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
