I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize