is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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