Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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