his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
