If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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