doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
