wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
