I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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