TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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