There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize