Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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