haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
