i permit you to call me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
