shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So much rum. So many feels.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize