my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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