I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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