you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
