you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She announced her abortion via fbk
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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