This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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