remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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