I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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