And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She bit a glass in half.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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