so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
