when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
