You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
