I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
