I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
