would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
