Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My balls are so social today.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
