before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
