I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
